Welcome To Our Blog!

The Air Capital Comedy blog was created to support the comedy community in the Wichita Metro area and the rest of the comedy world. If you have any jokes, ideas, comments, critiques or would like to submit a written piece please contact us at aircapitalcomedy@yahoo.com and we will publish it unedited. Brevity is the soul of wit but longer essays are always welcomed!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Recent Tweets!

Do Canadian geese ever suffer from inferiority complexes? I really want to know.

My cat Jasmine likes to lick herself "down there" way way too much. Does that make her a lesbian?

Men don't cry unless they are kicked in the balls and then they only throw up!

I am now officially a bisexual, I was finger f*cked by a man today.......had my first prostate exam.......ouch!

@ShawnScott14

Funny Photo Of The Week!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

IMHO by Tad Jonger

Ten Overrated Rock Bands/Musicians
1.    U2 – yes they are a good band, but a GREAT band? I think not. I still haven’t found what you are looking for U2 fans!

2.    Elvis Presley – I know that he was “The King”, but the king of what, mediocre  music? I was never able to get into his sound old or new. Perhaps the most overrated artist ever?

3.    Bruce Springsteen – known as “The Boss”, but more like an assistant manager. I like his early stuff with the E Street Band but after that, boring! Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan have already done it much earlier and better!

4.    The Doors – America’s greatest rock and roll band? Nope. I like them, but I don’t love them!  How many songs can you write about the road, trying to bed some chick or killing your whole family?

5.    Coldplay – we all liked “Clocks”, but only for about three weeks!

6.    The Grateful Dead – yes they are really good when you are listening to them while drunk, high or tripping but when you are sober, NOT! I feel the same thing about the band Phish and Blues Traveler.

7.    The Beach Boys – yes surfing is one of the coolest sports on the planet, but basing your entire music career around it? They may have been recording technique pioneers, but endless summer? How about endless monotony?

8.    Green Day – yes they were THE ground breaking power pop band that pretended to be punk but you will never be as good as the real thing: The Sex Pistols or The Clash.

9.    The Smashing Pumpkins – a band that has based their career on whining about how life supposedly sucks! I don’t get the appeal of depressing music like this. Life is too short for this pap.

10. REM – yes they had a few catchy tunes like “Orange Crush” and “The End of the World as We Know It” but I cannot understand the devoted fandom for this band much less having to sit through a concert of theirs. Yes, I know they broke up!



Saturday, March 10, 2012

I Am A Cheapskate!

You know I think I was abandoned as a child by Jewish gypsies because I am really cheap and always try to save a penny or a length of pipe whenever possible. Only suckers pay retail, and I try my damndest never to do that. I buy my clothes and shoes at thrift stores ala the High Plains Thrifter, Jon Evans. Now, I do not buy used underwear or socks at the thrift store as I don’t wish to catch scabies, taint rot or some new strain of foot fungus. Wal-Mart sells socks and underwear by the pound so that’s where I go. Now as cheap as I am I have never bought condoms at my favorite dollar store. Why would anyone buy condoms at a dollar store and be confident that you could trust the reliability of the product? Ok, so you save $3 dollars on a box of 12 condoms and only two of them were bad. It just happens to be the two that you used on your girlfriend or wife last weekend and you think one may have slipped past the goalie. Do you go back to the dollar store now and buy a pregnancy test? “Oh honey look it is negative, we have nothing to worry about….yeah I know you missed your period and you’re throwing up in the morning but that’s probably just a seasonal flu, take some Thera-flu and go to bed early, I will call the doctor in the morning!” I also cannot get into buying one ply toilet paper as you might as well be using your hand because that is what ends up going through the paper and cleaning your back side! Left for wiping and right for shaking hands or is it the other way around? I will never be visiting southwest Asia so I guess I do not have to worry about it. Have you ever bought snack food at a dollar store? It usually is not a name brand, more like “Uncle Bill’s Snak Mix” or “Gourmet Party Mix” and has been salted out of actually having any kind of a good taste! I get my sodium intake for one year by eating just one serving! I saw an older lady the other day that came into my favorite Dollar Tree and she was pushing a baby carriage, but it wasn’t one of those that a grandchild would be riding in, more of a toy baby carriage for a doll. I had to do a double take, either that is a horribly deformed and hairy child or it’s a……dog! She was pushing her pet in a baby dolls carriage; it was a toy dog, a therapy dog, a retail therapy dog! No mental issues there, right?   Posted by Shawn Scott

Sunday, March 4, 2012

More Political Lenoisms!

JAY LENO ON THE DEVIL AND RICK SANTORUM: "Rick Santorum has said that Satan has his sights set on the United States of America. Today Satan said he tries to avoid politics because it makes him feel dirty." -- Jay Leno, Feb. 22, 2012.

JAY LENO ON WHITE HOUSE FEARS: "President Obama said he understands that rising prices are making people worried and fearful. Especially in his re-election campaign. They're really fearful. " -- Jay Leno, Feb. 23, 2012.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Twits!


Comedy is king on Twitter. Professional humorists and armchair standups alike have amassed legions of followers that hang on every 140-character quip.
Twitter humor is a brand-builder, a great writing exercise, and if you’re really good, it might even land you a job (but probably not, so settle down).
So, what does it take to get laughs at this 24/7 digital cocktail party? We asked some of the funniest tweeters around for their tips on cracking wise in the one-liner Renaissance.
1. Start by Being Funny in the First Place
Bill Corbett knows a thing or two about landing short quips. He's a writer/performer over at RiffTrax.com, and an alum of Mystery Science Theater 3000, the show that invented this stuff.
"First bit of advice: Be a funny person. There may be nothing you can do about this one.
Second bit of advice: Try to understand the short form, and be playful within it. Not everything needs to read like a classic "premise, punchline" joke...But understand that tastes vary wildly. Not everyone will think you're hilarious, and some dicks will make sure to tell you so. Don't worry about it.
Third bit of advice: Really, there are no rules. Ignore my second bit of advice and go back to my first."
Twitter Comedy: How to Be Funny in 140 Characters
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1. Start by Being Funny in the First Place
Bill Corbett knows a thing or two about landing short quips. He's a writer/performer over at RiffTrax.com, and an alum of Mystery Science Theater 3000, the show that invented this stuff.
"First bit of advice: Be a funny person. There may be nothing you can do about this one.
Second bit of advice: Try to understand the short form, and be playful within it. Not everything needs to read like a classic "premise, punchline" joke...But understand that tastes vary wildly. Not everyone will think you're hilarious, and some dicks will make sure to tell you so. Don't worry about it.
Third bit of advice: Really, there are no rules. Ignore my second bit of advice and go back to my first."
2. Follow Funny People
Josh Hara is a cartoonist who draws, tweets and Tumbles his hilarious observations. He suggests stocking your own feed full of funny people first.
"If you are already a bit funny in real life, the next best thing you can do is follow a bunch of funny people. You'll learn so much about how to write jokes just from reading jokes all day.
When you read really good ones, you'll spend a considerable amount of time wishing you wrote them first. Once you move past that you'll still feel like a worthless human being, but you might take something with you that will make forcing your square peg of a brain into the round hole of wit a little easier the next time."


3. Focus on Content, Not Retweets
Jake Fogelnest knows a thing or two about Internet comedy. While he's been writing TV for years, he was recently picked as a curator of Tumblr's LOL tag. It's literally his job to find funny things on the Internet.
"The most important thing is to not worry about the results. Don't get obsessed with how many followers you have, who is following you, retweets, favs, etc. Don't let the external validation become the thing. All that stuff will come. You can't start tweeting towards it, you know?"


4. Mix It Up
If you're not following Megan Amram, what's wrong with you? The LA-based comedy writer (whose jokes have graced the 2011 Oscars and the Disney Channel sitcom A.N.T. Farm) is on everyone's "Funniest Tweeters" list.
"As my mom has ACCURATELY concluded and tells me often over the phone, the tweets that seem to be the most popular are TOPICAL or SEX-RELATED.
I think the jokes that work best are little surprises. I try to mix very accessible jokes with super weird ones that make me laugh. I also love wordplay, but I try to reserve the wordplay tweets for only the very best puns."


5. Test the Waters, Get Feedback
Jen Statsky is a writer for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, and credits Twitter with helping her hone her delivery and ultimately scoring the job. She admires the sheer versatility of 140 characters.
"There's absolutely no limit on the type of jokes people make [on Twitter]. You can use it for observational humor type stuff, topical jokes, entire feeds that are parodies of a person or a fake persona...It allows you to write whatever type of joke you're feeling at that moment, and instantly have it read by people, rather than if you just jotted it down in a notebook.
It's also such a great tool because you can easily see what people respond to via RTs and favs and all that, which you really don't immediately get if you're just writing on your own in a script."


6. Develop a Unique Voice
Lauren Ashley Bishop is a comedian working in LA, but she "comedes all over" according to her Twitter bio. She has a distinct Twitter voice that rarely includes capital letters or punctuation.
"my voice on twitter is more of a caricature of myself than anything, things i would say if there were no morals or consequences in the world. that's fun for me to explore. jake gyllenhaal would also be fun for me to explore.
i get a lot of words yelled at me for not using punctuation, but that's a part of my voice...it has a purpose. i use punctuation like a rest in music - i want you to hear it exactly as i do in my head. if there is no comma or period there is a reason. some people think it's lazy but i've murdered all of them."


7. Be Bold
Mary Charlene has built a following 30K-strong with a wit that's not afraid to bite.
"Don't be afraid to tweet about something you think might offend people. That can get you attention in a good way!"


8. Don't Force It
Writer Rob Delaney crushes it on Twitter with the absurd and observational. He recommends that if a joke doesn't click in 140 characters, throw it away.
"Don't work too hard on a tweet. When you see people trying to, for example, synthesize two current news stories into one 'clever' tweet, it can get pretty clunky and their labor is obvious, rendering their tweet unfunny."


9. Create a Character
Travis Helwig is an "unemployed writer" who keeps a low profile on Twitter. But his alter ego, Your Friend From High School, has amassed over 60,000 followers. She's the cringe-worthy, hometown idiot we all have in our social feeds.
"When I started writing FFHS, it originally followed a larger story arc with multiple characters told through the eyes of this character. But as the followers grew, the nature of the account changed. If I wanted to keep growing, I had to understand that most people would not go back and read every tweet I had written. This made a larger story more difficult. So when the numbers rose, I abandoned the narrative, for the most part, and tried to create easily digestible, more retweetable content. That's pretentious-bullshit-speak for jokes. I started writing one-off jokes."


10. When All Else Fails...
Stand-up, author and political satirist Andy Borowitz has accrued nearly 185,000 followers of his biting wit. His secret?
"You only have 140 characters in which to construct a clever joke. And since 'penis' uses up 5, that leaves you with only 135."