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The Air Capital Comedy blog was created to support the comedy community in the Wichita Metro area and the rest of the comedy world. If you have any jokes, ideas, comments, critiques or would like to submit a written piece please contact us at aircapitalcomedy@yahoo.com and we will publish it unedited. Brevity is the soul of wit but longer essays are always welcomed!

Friday, December 30, 2011

New Undergarment Line?

Attention Hanes, Fruit of the Loom and Victoria’s Secret: here is a free product idea for you. With the dawn of 2012 on the horizon and Amerika fast becoming a national security police state we now have TSA goons strip searching grandmas, fondling little children and eye raping college aged girls with their irradiating Porno-tron 9000 scanners at all the airports in this once freedom loving country. The time is right to introduce an undergarment line with lead lined privacy “shields” or other penetrating x-ray blocking metals that cover the private parts of both female and male consumers.  For the ladies I am envisioning bra and panty combos that cover the nipple/areola area with a circular shield up top and a triangular shield to cover the mommy parts down below. I also envision bra/panty combos with protest messages spelled out covering both top and bottom naughties. It will have to be in the obverse like looking into a mirror so that it can be properly discerned by the scanning TSA agent.  Here are just a few ideas:
Left Breast: Right Breast: Pubic Area: TSA
Left Breast: NOT  Right Breast: YOURS  Pubic Area: TO SEE !
Left Breast: Right Breast: Pubic Area: A PERVERT!

For the gentlemen I envision boxers or briefs with a little larger triangular shield that covers the meat and two veggies as well as a thin rectangular strip that covers the butt crack from TSA agents with a queer eye for the straight guy if you know what I mean. Protest messages across that area of the underwear could include such time honored slogans as: “homo says what?”, “not here queer!” or “nice try fancy lad!” The butt crack strip slogans could be “not an entrance”, “exit only” or “Hershey Highway closed!” to just name a few of the infinite possibilities! Victoria’s Secret, Fruit of the Loom and Hanes; you have been given a gift for the new year, run with it! If you dear readers have any other ideas for protest slogans please e-mail them to us at: libertyfree1776@yahoo.com.  
   

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