Don't Get Political!

Who I Do Not Want As My Next President

Newt baby, I need to level with you on this. A majority of the American people do not like your baby Huey head with that pompous ass smirk on your face and your general tone of condescension when being interviewed on cable news outlets. We the voters do not like your wacky ideas about colonizing the moon or bombing yet another Middle Eastern country and starting a trade war with China. We may not like President Obama at all but we like you even less! I am sorry I had to be the one to tell you this.

Ricky baby, l need to level with you on this. Anyone with a last name that is also an urban slang term for that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is a byproduct of anal sex will never be our next president. And considering the fact that you feel the need to be the moral conscience of the country and you do not like the “libertine” nature of some peoples sex lives is a real no go for me. Your blood thirstiness towards the Persian people is also very alarming considering that the U.S. has hundreds if not thousands of nuclear missiles and Iran has yet to build even one but you still want to carpet bomb their country! Rick I know the truth hurts but someone had to tell you and your altar boy ego.

Mitt baby, I need to level with you on this you silly plastic man. I have seen all the You Tube videos where you have changed your position 180 degrees on almost every issue since you were governor of Massachusetts, not to mention that you are a shameless man whore when it comes to being in bed with the crony capitalists of Wall Street. They are the same guys in cahoots with the crooks in D.C. that told us all that it was raining when in actuality they were pissing down our backs in 2008. Remember the financial crash? The American middle class will NEVER forget it. Mitt I am sorry I had to be the one to tell you this.

Barak, I need to level with you on this. You got this job as a junior Senator from Illinois and I do not know if it was your huge messianic ego or all the people that were handling you that thought they could really help you but I bet you had NO IDEA how hard it was going to be as president. I will say I did not vote for you in 2008 but I do think you are probably the hippest prez in the history of the country. Unfortunately, your presidency will go down as much of a failure as Jimmy Carter’s administration; the economy has not been fixed, healthcare is even worse than before and we are still at war in Afghanistan. You look tired Mr. Obama and I bet you would like to just get on a plane and go back to Chicago. I am sorry I had to be the one to tell you this, but unless the GOP nominates Congressman Ron Paul, you WILL have to serve another four years!

Posted by Shawn Scott    on Twitter @ShawnScott14